Love that insists on loving...

Love that insists on loving...
            On my blog, I have written various articles about love; many would wonder why do I have to speak of love many a times; well, partly because we’re such love obsessed people, but mainly because it’s a philosophically inexhaustible topic.  And secondly because of an experience I have gone through in recent times - do we really love to change people or to be changed?  Why do people in love have knowledge of what can irritate their partners and still go on and do them; do that mean they are not loving?  Is knowledge enough for love? What then is the condition of love? So and so many other questions can click on into our minds...Rules, laws and regulations and traditions, all these are good for they are meant to provide peace and order, social order to give direction to one’s life and to promote life. They are beneficial to us. But the moment we forget the person, for whom the laws were made and become too legalistic, too formalistic and structured, the laws cease to be life-giving. They stifle life. Instant judgments and counting the mistakes of others become then so natural that mercy, forgiveness and compassion are easily forgotten; love starts to condition...

           

Our focus this time will be less on romantic love, than on unconditional love, in all its manifestations – whether between romantic partners, between parents and their children, or between humanitarians and all humankind. I should start out by admitting that unconditional love is rare and difficult thing.  Parents may profess to love their children unconditionally.  But how often do children test the limits of parental love? Couples in the first blush of new love may make dewy-eyed promises to love each other for better or for worse.  But how often do such promises give way to betrayal and recrimination?   Still, it’s an amazing gift when it does happen.   And it’s one that we all want.  We all want someone who will love us forever, through thick and thin, no matter what we do or become. Part of me thinks that unconditional love is the highest form of love.  Most religions certainly seem to believe that.  That’s why they attribute unconditional love for all mankind to God.  It’s why Christ commands Christians to love thy neighbour as thyself. But, of course, unconditional love is easy for God - with his infinite patience and boundless capacity to forgive.   You can’t hurt God – not really.  But humans are vulnerable.  In us, too much hurt, betrayal or disappointment kills even the deepest, most enduring love.

            Of course, its one thing to focus on the work it takes for us to give or sustain unconditional love. That’s hard, I admit.  But think about what it’s like to be the recipient of such love.  That seems, at first blush, to be a really good thing to the recipient of.  Who wouldn’t want to be loved unconditionally, despite all your flaws and failings? On the other hand, part of me thinks that maybe unconditional love isn’t all its cracked up to be. Don’t people want to be loved and appreciated for who and what they are?  When somebody loves me unconditionally, doesn’t that mean they don’t care who I am or what I do and they are blind to my particularity? But isn’t love about delighting in the particularity of the other? But maybe that’s being too quick to dismiss. I mean just because you love somebody unconditionally, doesn’t mean you don’t care about what they are or what they do. Presumably, if you love them, you want them to be their best self.   You might even hope and believe that your love will help them become that. The “unconditional” part of unconditional love just means that - you won’t withdraw love when things go badly.

God must be Surprised....

God must be Surprised....

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,

and I will give you rest... (Not take away problems...) Mt. 11, 28

            Scott Peck begins his great book, “The Road Less Travelled” with the simplest statement possible: “Life is difficult.” I think all of us agree with this. People complain a lot about problems in life, forgetting that complaining will never solve them. Some feel burdened by their job (or by not having a job), by damaged relationships and so on. And at times they are burden to themselves. To deal with such burdens, some pretend that everything is fine, others cover up, again others drown their heavy feelings in the hustle and bustle of a mall, the noise of a disco, or in the taste of alcohol. Some complain to God, “Why did you give to me all these crosses? One is more than enough.”

            It’s true, God allows suffering in our lives but He did not create us to suffer. The many burdens and problems which we generalize as “crosses” in our life might be self-created. Did God give us the cross of a damaged relationship when it was us who in our pride hurt a person and are not ready to make the first step to reconciliation? Is it God who gave the cross of anger which causes high blood pressure, when we are the ones who expect too much from ourselves or from others?

            God must be surprised sometimes when we blame Him for self-inflicted crosses. Jesus wants us to be happy as he was happy – in spite of the cross. We may pray, of course, that God takes a cross away from us; Jesus did the same in Gethsemane. But He trusted God and accepted what the Father had designed for Him. Jesus invites us to follow Him, to come to Him (not to mega mall or a disco) and find rest and learn from Him how to carry life’s burden. It is in his merciful presence that we find peace. Then we will stop complaining and begin to solve our problems and unburden ourselves from self-fabricated crosses.

            Always remember, this famous passage from St. Augustine's Confessions in which he states "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you", and still, Joyce Meyer said something that can be easy to remember: “Complain and remain. Praise and be raised.” Basically, that means that if you complain, then you’ll stay wherever you are emotionally and nothing will get better. If you give praise and stay positive about things, then you will find yourself happier, content, and, amazingly, with less problems. The problems won’t disappear, but they’ll become smaller or even nothing at all in your perspective. This is exactly what we get when we are with Jesus (Mt. 11, 28), "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest...more energy, refreshment, vigour, to continue fighting in this tiresome world...

Never for Granted!

Never for Granted!

            Why do we often take for granted the very things that deserve our gratitude the most? We do this with both people and possessions. The problem is many people do not realize this until the situation has come and passed. We take things for granted on a daily basis, always with the assumption that whenever we need something, it will be there. There are many things we fail to realize the true value of until they are missing from our lives. Think of technology, the Internet and your cell phone, not to talk about your parents, siblings, friends, money, and life. You do not realize how vital your cell phone is to your life until you have to go days without it. Enjoy the little things in life because someday you will realize they were the big things.

            “People say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, and you just never thought you’d lose it.” This is a common thing once a relationship reaches its conclusion. When you become complacent with your partner, it is easy to fall into this trap. Happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting what you don’t have; rather it’s recognizing and appreciating what you do have. If someone once made you happy, there is a great chance they still will. Think about it — maybe you are bored with your familiar routine, but that doesn’t mean you should get rid of it. Don’t lose something you have for something you think you want. When people break up, it’s common to regret it. You end the relationship because you can think you can do better, but once you’re out there in the dating world, you realize you had something amazing. Sometimes it is too little too late and you must learn from your unfortunate decision. What screws a person up is trying to live up to image they create in their minds. There is no such thing as perfect, only perfect for you.

All called to Evangelize...

15th Ordinary Sunday - Yr B.

All called to Evangelize...

            Last Sunday’s gospel reported to us the rejection of Jesus by His own townspeople. Today, we are given a profile of those who believe in Him. From among His followers, Jesus chooses the Twelve, His band of intimate friends. The Twelve together with the other disciples are Jesus’ true family and community. He instructs them to take nothing for the journey; He urges His disciples to travel light for greater mobility and availability in their mission.

            All of us are called by God to be missionaries, proclaimers and witnesses to others of His Words. Vatican II document - Apostolican Actuositatem (on the Apostolate of the Laity) no. 3 said: “Incorporated into Christ’s Mystical Body through Baptism and strengthened by the Spirit through Confirmation, the laity are assigned to the apostolate by the Lord Himself.” So whether you are an accountant, a lawyer, a clerk, a doctor, a musician, or an executive, a teacher or whatever, you are sent out “to preach, heal, teach and witness to the good news,” in short, to evangelize. And no. 6 says, “The very testimonies of their Christian life and good works done in supernatural spirit have the power to draw men to belief and to God.”

            Just the way you live can do more good to others than the many dragging sermons and voluminous books written by known writers. Sad to say, many still have the idea that the call of Christ is addressed only to apostles and their successors, the bishops. This is not true today. Every Christian is commissioned to a ministry of love and justice by virtue of their baptism and confirmation. So, let us ask ourselves, are we faithful to our mission?