Many relationships that seemed
strong at the
beginning are falling apart when the “good times”
leave and the
“bad times” come.
God promises to “give you
divine strength in hard times and to be always faithful to you. God cannot be
unfaithful and so you can be utterly certain that he will always be by your
side, ready and eager to give you whatever you need along the road you will
travel together.
True love is not an
emotion or feeling that flees during the bad times, but it is a choice rooted
in the grace that came when the relationship started.
So, what does it mean to
love one another? It means self-sacrifice and self-donation. It means giving
yourself to the other with no conditions, no strings attached and even where
this incurs suffering.
“Some relationships have
the attitude of ‘I will love you so long as you love me.’ That is the wrong
sentiment. The true Christian stance should be ‘I will love you always, even if
you do not love me back.’ My love for you is not a faucet which I can turn on
and off. It is an immutable fact, and you
can totally trust in that.”
“Other relationships say,
‘I will love you as long as you meet my needs.’ Well, that is hardly love
at all. It is totally conditional, and the bottom line is, of course, that no
human being can meet all of your needs all of the time and you can’t
either."
Love means serving one
another. And, to do that well it means exploring each other as persons,
discovering what makes your other happy and content, knowing what makes him or
her unhappy or sad or even irritable and then setting about the holy task of
serving with your special talents. Do everything for the other which is
pleasing and as much as you can avoid that which is displeasing.
A test of true love is a
“willingness to lay down your life for one another; which could happen in two
ways.
The first way is in the
day-to-day routine of life, dying to self for the sake of the other in all
kinds of little ways, giving up your immediate needs in the interest of your partner.
The second way is not the
likeliest, but who knows what the Holy Spirit may ask of you, and that is to
actually risk and even lose your life in order to save the other. The first way
is the white martyrdom of day-to-day living. The second way is the red
martyrdom, which guarantees instant entry into heaven.
McDonald calls love a
“very demanding mistress.” “She demands everything you’ve got in donating your
all to your partner.”
