“In an individual, selfishness
uglifies the soul;
for the human species, selfishness is extinction.”
~ David
Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
1. Your partner is always nagging and belittling you.
There is a difference between
someone pushing and pulling you to reach your goals with a cheerleader
personality, and another making you feel worthless. A selfish person will never
take your needs into consideration. They will do anything possible to make you
feel worthless so that things are always about them. The focus can only be on
what they are accomplishing. If you find yourself giving and never receiving
this is the imbalance of a selfish relationship. Psychologist Daniel Goleman,
author of Emotional Intelligence, writes: “Self-absorption in all its forms
kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world
contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on
others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind
and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection – or
compassionate action.” A relationship that is one-sided cannot flourish.
2. Your partner believes that what he or she does is more important.
Selfish people do not waste their
energies considering the needs of another, even those of a life partner. They
want what they want and believe that they have the right to put themselves
first. There is a difference between self-love and being selfish. This behaviour
is a form of betrayal. If you don’t stand up for what you want your partner
doesn’t feel the need or desire to stand up for what you desire either. You
must show your worthiness and love in order to combat any selfish behaviour in
a relationship. A selfish behaviour that is repetitively present is emotionally
draining and toxic. It’s unhealthy. You begin to put yourself second and
eventually any respect will disappear from the relationship.
3. Your partner is competitive and insecure.
There is an extra entity in your
relationship and it is a green-eye monster called Jealousy. A person who is
always trying to outsmart or be better than his/her counterpart is an insecure
person with a severe degree of selfishness. If your partner is envious of you
it is because you have something he/she doesn’t have and they know it. In a
healthy relationship both people growth while bringing out the best of each other."
Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often
mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater
the jealousy – in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves
room for the other.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
4. Your partner doesn’t apologize.
This is a big one! If your
partner can’t say “I am sorry” when they have done something offensive or
hurtful, it’s a sign that they might suffer from a narcissistic disorder. Moral
values do not exist in this psychological disorder. The narcissist doesn’t know
resentment or wrongdoing. It’s all about them. You are not important enough to
stop them from seeing their mistakes. One selfish soul in a relationship
diminishes the ability to love fully with joy. If your partner is driven by an
egotistical nature that never regrets anything, you have a selfish soul in your
presence.
No relationship is perfect, but
when there is no consideration, respect or trust, it can become an abusive
partnership. You are the only who can decipher if a little selfishness is good,
or if it borders on narcissism. Self-love and self-worth exist in loving and
healthy relationships.
Ref: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/
