PART III: VALUES IN SEXUAL CONDUCTS.

VALUES IN SEXUAL CONDUCTS.

Total human person is committed to foster by his or her conduct both creative growth as a person and integration into society, and hence the necessity to ask whether and to what extent genital conduct realizes such values like; personal love and freedom, respect and reverence for the other as person, honesty, fidelity, social responsibility, service to life and joy.

Personal love and freedom - sexual expression in a genital manner is meant to serve and satisfy a wholesome self-interest and self-fulfillment; it is not exclusively and altruistic and loving self-giving to another person. Loving another person satisfies a need each of us has. The loving expression of the self to the other person is also liberating, for the authentic self needs to express itself fully without hindrance just to be itself. This would mean that any sexual expression that closes the self off from the other person is then inappropriate, and any loving self-expression that is liberating is not that reason alone appropriate.

Respect and reverence for the other person - one’s behavior toward the other is guided by the other’s needs and capacities for growth as a person. This would raise the issue of whether one’s sexual expression of self to another contributes positively to the personal growth of the other person. It will show a genuine interest in and concern for the well being of the other, if this expression does so. And hence, it would mean that the best is expected from the other without being demeaning or domineering.

Honesty and sincerity - it is commonly known that no feeling is expressed that is not sincerely felt; all that one feels about the relationship is expressed because it is important for the other to know. And therefore, what one feels from the other is expressed as openly and trustfully as possible. Basically to mean, relation honesty and sincerity is inevitable.

Fidelity - in any relationship, sexual expression shows a consistent pattern of interest and concern that grows deeper and richer as the partners grow and develop in their mutual love. Consequently, being true to one another contributes to the stability and strength of the relationship. While the mutual loyalty grows, it does not isolate either person from all other personal but non-genital relationships.

Social responsibility - even though two engage in sexual relationship, their teaming reflects both their interpersonal relationship and their relatedness to the larger community of the family, nation and world - the quality of their life as a pair affects the quality of life of the larger community. The bond of their relationship enables them to use their sexuality in a way that truly builds and enhances the human community.

Service to life - sexual expression must respect the intimate relationship between the creative and integrative aspects of human sexuality. Through relationship with another or set of others, each one is able to express his or her sexual creativity and to move toward integration both as a person and as a member of society. .

Joy - Sexual expression, whether it be genital or not is not merely pleasurable but, when done appropriately, gives rise to sheer joy and exuberant appreciation. Feelings of quilt and remorse have no place in appropriate sexual expression.

BY MICHAEL MUTINDA, IMC.